Audition Screwups Galore!

Time for Updates!

I think this has to be the busiest audition week for me, and oddly enough, the craziest–everything–must–go–wrong week. I got an audition for Radio Shack, Church’s Chicken, and Taco Bueno. On top of all that I had a wicked scratchy sore throat around mid–week and a cold to boot. I guess I picked up more than fame on that FNL shoot this past weekend or maybe my mental clock was just weak from all the activities of last week! –All making for a perfect recipe for disaster in the making.

I was late for the Church’s Chicken audition – mistook 10:45am for 11:45am. I waltzed in feeling proud of myself for being 25 minutes early only to realize that i was 45 minutes late. I couldn’t believe it. I was convinced all day that I was to be there at 11:45. Oh, it gets even worse.

And as if that one hour discrepency wasn’t enough, I just came back from driving all the way to Ft. Worth for the Radio Shack in-store spot. Again, 25 minutes early, but a whole freakin’ day late. I nearly collapsed at the check–in desk. I was checking my paperwork so I could tell the impatiently nice, confused security guard who I was here to see. I even had to tell him twice. He started calling around to see where the audition was. I was about to blurt out the location to him one more time, ’cause to he was totally wasting my time, when my eyes fell on a very obscure date on the location information sheet. Right there, in–front of me, laser-crisp, printed date…. “Wed., March 14″!

My internal organs did a catapult as my entire body sunk under the weight of such a stupid oversight. I hereby blame it on the concoction of drugs I had to take to keep my nose from running away and the back of my throat from feeling like it was grating carrots for a bar mitzvah festival. My head’s all foggy now. I hated missing this one cause I really spent a long time pretending to be a pitchman for Radio Shack. And i was actually liking my prep for once. I was memorized and everything.

But in a testament to how quickly things change, I got two calls from my agent to let me know that I was called back for the Church’s Chicken spot. I was sure that they wouldn’t even consider me as I was stammering through my lines.

Not 20 minutes later I get a call that I have yet another audition for Taco Bueno. For those that know me, I hereby confess that I made a quick stop at a TB drive-thru on the way to Radio Shack because that’s all I could find. Talk about coincidence.

So I have a new audition scheduling technique I am going to try out. I reply to confirm that I am going to attend my assigned audition. I print out all my audition notices. I highlight the important details like time, location, and DATE! I google and print out the map. Staple all pertinent documents for each individual audition together. I put all these documents into the front seat my car (remembering to pull out two head shots from the glove box). I am notorious for rushing out of the house and forgeting that important articles that I put aside so I wouldn’t forget them. Classic. I then add all the above details to my iCal with an alarm for each event. I make sure to synchronize my iPod as so the calendars are synchronized.

I currently can’t sync to my RAZR phone because Motorola can’t get their shit together and give customers what they want. Usable bluetooth anyone? Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez!

So that’s my process, you’ze actors out there are free to borrow it…. while it’s still unpatented! After that I want royalties. Better yet, don’t make my people come see you.