Back in the day, when I was a full time athlete, I would look forward to relaxing in front of the TV after an exhaustive morning training session to yet another episode of The Screen Savers. It was during one of these episodes that I first heard the term “social networking site” or SNS for short. Back then, Friendster was one of the first darlings to blaze a hot trail in this new online arena. More about this in a minute.
Now usually I am the first to jump on new technological toys whenever I can afford them, but I am always the last to forcibly join anything. I don’t like to join for the sake of joining, or being a member of, or part of, or belonging to any kind of organization. Even in my Christian faith, I am hesitant to claim that I attend a Baptist church. I am certainly not ashamed of it, but it’s just not in my genes to pull out a bullhorn and proclaim, “yoo hooo! I am a Baaaaaaaptist!” Nope. Not me.
Even as a photographer, I’ll drool and follow the megapixel battle between Canon and Nikon, and even fork over thousands to the perceived victor (Canon). But you won’t find my name in any Canon photographer’s association. I’ve thought about it. Several times. Then I promptly discard the thought of joining any of them. As a graphic designer, I’ll stand in line waiting for the latest Mac OS feline to be let out of the bag. I’ll bend over and hand over an entire paycheck to Adobe for their latest design bundle. But I can can count the number of times that I have attended DSVC here in Dallas. Now that I think about it, it’s exactly four times. And all four times I’ve declined to pay the membership fee.
What do I have against joining?
Nothing. That’s why it’s so paradoxical that when it comes to making the commitment to join, the urge is completely not there. Kudos to those that do and kudos to those that actually benefit from it. I’ve even thought, maybe I am elitist. Which of course, induces a laugh. Even anyone knows me well enough, I rarely pat myself on the back. So what gives then?
I think the best explanation is that I am just plain lazy… and cheap. I mean how many organizations do I need to keep up with? And for joining their lofty ranks, what value do I actually add to my life? Except for keeping up with meetings, being bombarded with useless emails and letters and membership due reminders. I just don’t see the need. And I’ve obviously done a OK on my own.
SNS Annoyances
Now back to Friendster and it’s offspring. It wasn’t until 3 years later that i final relented under a barrage of invitations and finally joined Friendster. It’s usefulness and added value to my life quickly faded after less than 5 visits. I completely skipped the MySpace craze. And I thought I was safe from Facebook, until 25+ invitations had me creating a profile, and did so only because everyone I met on my travels through Africa last year was on it. It was easier to add them to my friends list than to keep up with the growing collection of phone numbers, email addresses, and the faces they belonged to.
Here’s where it gets annoying for me. The constant barrage of invitations from random wannabe Facebook sites. I am not even sure if my friends are even aware that they are handing out my email without my permission and then I get constant reminders to join this network or that network. If I was to join all of them. I wouldn’t have time to do anything else, just constantly checking all the sites. And for what?
I love my friends, I really I do, I just don’t feel that I need to accept every invitation to the latest and greatest SNS in order to keep up with all of them. If I need to reach out to them, I pick up the phone or send an email. Or they can passively keep up with me through this here fabulous blog. Or none of the above. It’s cool. Just stop please stop handing out my email addresses without my permission. END RANT.
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I think it was Van Jones who I once heard eloquently describe the loneliness of being a bridge between various groups. At the same time that you’re surrounded by just about everyone (I bet you have at least 1000 contacts in your address book), you’re not in a position to be a member of any specific ‘tribe’, which is something we all yearn for.
I have heard people describe me both as hyper-social and anti-social and I think they’re both right. I love new friends, I love old friends, and yet I’m often overwhelmed by both.
I also think that one of the problems with social networks today has to do with that so-called Dunbar’s Number. The business model of a for-profit social network means they want as many users as possible. But once you have a social network of more than 150 people, you lose the sense of community, which was the original idea behind signing up.
With that said, while I haven’t signed onto Facebook for weeks now (other than to approve friend requests), I’m glad that I know I can go there and see where you are and what you’re up to when curiosity hits.